Sunday, October 11, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
First off....Does anybody pay attention to when I change my music to match each post? Or, am I just amusing myself? Either way....I'm going to keep doing it.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Rebecca at Making Memories had a post dedicated to her flaws. She posted in order to remind herself and others that she is human. And as we all know, or should know, we all have flaws. Those of you who read my blog have seen my many many flaws.
But.....wouldn't it be nice to see them in bullet format?!?! For your reading enjoyment, here are (just a small pinch) of my flaws.
- I have severe ADHD and tend to never want to finish a project unless it can be done in less than 6 seconds
- I frequently skip a shower and take one every other day
- I'm loud....really loud
- I speak the truth way to often
- I speak the truth loudly...way to loudly
- I can't cook worth a crap
- I HATE to clean
- When I get overwhelmed, I want to quit
- I wear two different colored socks
- I'm lazy
- I'm gullible
- I love greasy food or any food that is bad for me
- I'm a part time closet smoker
- I love to play the devil's advocate in any and EVERY conversation
Ok, that is just a small pinch of them. Yes, I am human. No, I am not perfect. No, I do not have the perfect family. I do not have perfect kids. I do not have the perfect job. I do not have the perfect car. I do not have perfect friends. I do not have perfect habits.
And, I wouldn't change it for the world. There are times I am furious beyond all end, but it's my life! And, I love it!
So, if you're a yuppie...cut loose and be less than perfect with me!
Friday, August 21, 2009
I don't think I got to tell you all about my new toy!!! It is something I have always wanted, so that I could feel like an all out bad ass. Can you guess what it is?
A freaking motorcycle!!! I have always wanted one and me and Chris had been "visiting" our dream bikes at a local motorcycle store. After realizing that financing two bikes was definately NOT going to be a financially sound decision, we started looking on craigslist.
Have I mentioned that craigslist is the greatest thing since slim jims?!
And we found lots of the bike I wanted, with really low miles, for half the price. I wanted a small little cruiser, so we decided to buy mine first since it would be cheaper. Chris set out on a quest...and Chris gets crazy obsessive with his quests...to find the perfect bike.
So, I am now the proud owner of an orange 2005 Honda Rebel. He found it with only 250 miles on it. I've had it for about two months now and have only ridden on the road once. But, I sure ride the hell out of that thing in my yard. lol. I always had dirt bikes growing up, so I guess some habits die hard.
I need to get my stupid motorcycle permit. But, I'm not in too much of a rush. I don't want to ride out there alone. I'm not afraid of my ability to ride...I'm afraid of some dumb ass plowing me over in there suv. Maybe if I feel motivated, I will go take the test in the morning.
The woman who we bought it off of threw in a free helmet. The only issue is that it looks like the ones that cops wear when they ride horses. I look like an L7 wienie with it on.
Ride on! Do any of you have motorcycles?
Ok, I reopened the post to edit it because I have a question for you all. Why do you blog and are you always 100% honest about your bloggings or are they tailored to get the comments that you desire?
Monday, August 17, 2009
Me and my brother have a random texting habit. One of our favorite games is to text a line of a song and see if the other can name that song or text the next line. It gets really hilarious sometimes. The other day, he started texting me Chuck Norris jokes and I almost peed in my chair sitting in my office.
1. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
2. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
3. Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
4. Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
5.Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
6. Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
7. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
8. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
9. When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night...he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
10. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He just stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
11. Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
12. Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Now, come on...you know that was funny. Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice.
And now an update. We drove 20 hours with all three of the boys this month for our first family trip. We went to Florida and stayed two nights with his dad and the rest with his brother, Danny and his wife, Shasha. It was hotter than hell itself, which I had not anticipated at all. We drove with the air on the whole way there. When we got to his dad's house and I got out, I'm pretty sure that half of my ass turned to sweat and dripped out my capris. I immediately decided that anything with legs could not be worn in Florida.
I NEVER wear shorts out in public. I have the legs of a nine year old boy who has been riding a horse way too long and then drug their knees through the rocks. So, I usually try to hide my chicken bow legs under capris. There was no shame in Florida though...I took my swamp ass to Wal-Mart on the first day to buy a bathing suit. Since my boobs decided to be inverted (please refer to boobs post), I didn't have a bathing suit that fit me. But, I sure bought me a teeny bikini and wore the crap out of that thing for a week. You will NOT be seeing any pictures of it though.
It turned out that everybody in Florida HATES the beach. WTF? I ride in the truck for 20 hours with three small children to sit in the air conditioning?!?!?! Chris did take pity on me after much pouting and many muttered curse words and took me and the boys to the beach. The sand was so hot, you couldn't walk on it in your bare feet. But, we had a blast. Devin kept trying to run out and the current was pulling him away. Peyton didn't want the waves to even touch him and Nuby was content to dig the same hole that kept getting filled in by the waves for an hour.
Then we walked up and ate at Bubba Gump's Shrimp. That was really neat. But, very uncomfortable. After sitting in the sand...it builds up. I couldn't figure out why it felt like my bathing suit was chafing away my precious parts until I went potty and poured out like 2 cups of sand from my bottoms. My souvenir?
Also...if you are going for a 20 hour drive and would like to have a snack...DON'T EAT 30 SLIM JIMS! They will bind you up like you would never believe!
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Jenera over at www.jenerahealy.blogspot.com is having a giveaway that ends today!!!
She is giving away an 8 x 10 picture from her site http://www.jenerasphotography.com/. All you have to do is go to the photography site and pick your favorite picture. (And there are some really really good ones! She does a fantabulous job!) Then leave a comment stating what your favorite one is. You can even get an extra entry into the running if you leave a link to her drawing on your own blog.
So, run over and enter!!!!
Thank you Jenera!!!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
We were due to leave Thursday at 5:00 pm from the center. However, nothing ever goes according to plan, right? Of course, parents decided to pick this day to ditch their kids and go shopping, leaving us standing around waiting. When we finally did get on the road, we had to stop at 4 different banks because the agency had made a last minute change to payroll and nobody's money was direct deposited.
While the second car of girls was doing bank runs, I went to McDonald's to feed myself, my kids and the girl I had with me a nutritional dinner of snack wraps, salads, nuggets, burgers and fries. We waited for over a half hour until they arrived. This was when the tsunamai decided to hit Ohio.
After they got there, I pulled out of the parking lot and stopped at the red light waiting for them to catch up. As I was watching them get closer and closer, I had the fleeting thought that they appeared to be coming too fast. That's when they hit me.
I popped out of my car after calming the girl with me, who was still stuck in the OOOOH MYYY GOD! ten seconds after the impact. I stomped back through the rain fully prepared to do alot of what the f'ing. But, they had already gotten out of their car. And the driver was not the car owner. That would be her sister. And they were stare locked across the steaming crumpled hood and dangling bumper of the hyundai. So, I decided to busy myself looking at the barely dented bumper of my car.
It was alot of drama and crying and then Chris came and picked up the girls and we drove to one of their houses to get a different car. The rest of the drive was thankfully uneventful. The conference was awesome! I got to meet alot of new people and learned alot of new ideas. I didn't get to go to the state rally, but some of the girls did and they said it was a really neat experience.
On the drive home, we competed car against car to see who could get more truckers to honk. When our car wasn't getting enough, we moved on to trying to get cars to honk. Have you ever realized how many unfriendly people are out there on the road. You wave and smile and they either slow down or speed up trying to pretend like they don't see you. Jerks.
Chris had cleaned the whole house while we were gone, including putting away the 7 loads of laundry I had left randomly around the house. He also had himself a big old party while I was gone. And, he cleaned up after that too!
So, now I'm back and we're trying to get ready to throw a 4th of July party and that should be loads of fun. I will have my bucket O'Margarita and things that are explosive. What more could one want?
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Two years ago on this same day....
At my last appointment with my midwife, I was 4 centimeters dilated and 50% thinned out. I returned to work after my appointment and was whining about how sore I was. It didn't feel like the normal hand all up in ya pain but more of a I think she stuck her whole leg in there and stomped on my uterus kind of deal. My friend and then boss, Lora, kept telling me to go home. But, I wanted to hoard all of my sick and vacation time, so I was reluctant to go. After much argument with Lora and the throb of my innerds...I grabbed Devin and Nuby and we went home.
After parking my pregnant sponge bob square pants looking butt on the couch for a day, I was sold. I called off the next day and decided I wasn't going back until after the baby was born. I was also trying to stay off my feet and hold that sucker in for a few more days.
I don't know if I've ever explained the intertwinitty of my friends...so here's a quick run down.
I met Jamie through an old relationship. Both of our boyfriends' were friends.
Absolutely hated her when I met her....then we became friends. We went on to date a few more pairs of friends. Then she married Lee and I'm engaged to Chris who is Lee's brother. wierd, huh.
Through that same old boyfriend, I met Jason and Amanda. Jason is Jamie's brother and also my neighbor. I also lived with Jason and Amanda for quite a few years.
Absolutely hated Amanda when I met her...now one of my best friends.
Back to the story.....
Jamie and Lee were on their way from their home in Colorado. Jamie had been pregnant and the baby didn't make it past 6 months due to severe complication. I didn't want to be in the hospital and not be able to make it to the service that they were having. The baby, Brandon Lee, was being buried over top of her and Jason's grandmother.
The morning of the service was beautiful. There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the temperature was just right. Everybody crowded around the little grave site while the pastor said his words and then the tiny little egg/urn was placed into the ground.
Afterwards, we all went over to her uncle's house for the wake and so the kids could swim in the pool. While we were all sitting around, the damn squeezies started acting up. Squeezies are what I always called braxton hicks because I couldn't stand the sound of the name. I had squeezies on and off with both Nuby and Peyton. So, I'm walking around and keep hiking up my stomach to try to make the squeezies less painful. And to try to make them not squeeze my ribs which would in turn squeeze my lungs. Or that's how it was happening in my head.
After a while, Jason asked me if I was ok...sure I was. Get the squeezies all the time. I asked Chris to bring me some water thinking that I was just a bit dehydrated.
I went into the sunroom to sit and talk to everyone when it happened. I was sitting on the floor on my knees with my feet tucked under me when I thought I peed my pants. I started laughing and told everybody that I either just peed myself or my water broke. And I had on very thin khaki pants. I made them all close their eyes while I jumped up and darted in the house. I ran down the basement stairs and plopped down on the pot. Yep...pants were wet. I'm sitting in the tiny bathroom with my knees touching the wall in front of me trying to sniff my pants to see if they smell like pee when Chris opens the door all frantic like. I yell at him to close the door because under no circumstances is he allowed to see me sitting on the toilet. (One of my wierd things) So, from the other side of the door he asks if I'm alright. As the squeezies are starting to get more painful I tell him yeah...maybe I just need to poop. So, I empty out my intestine, bang my head into the wall with another squeezie, dry my pants with a blow dryer and head back upstairs embarassed.
Sitting back in the sunroom, Amanda tells me that maybe I'm in labor. Now, I'm starting to get snappy. I'm not in freaking labor. It's just the damn squeezies and they're starting to piss me off. I'm just going to sit here for a minute and I'll be fine.
I sit for another ten minutes while each squeezie gets worse than the one before and now I'm starting to break a sweat. I tell Chris it's time to go. He fiddles around for a couple minutes and then asks if he can go home to take a shower first. "NO!" Instead, he opts for taking a shower there and throwing on some of Lee's clothes. Amanda and Jason took Devin and dropped him off at my aunt's and Lee snagged up Nuby. Me and Chris left the wake for the hospital.
We got there and I was beside myself in pain. I got out of the car and plopped right down in the parking lot refusing to walk until the squeezie was over....chris was very irritated. Once inside, my midwife shows up with her intern. My midwife, whose name is Gaye, had promised me an epidural. So, I held out for an hour until I could get it. Once the epidural was in, I was ready to go. Lock and load and he was outin 45 minutes.
I was so worried about Jamie. I felt like we had ruined Brandon's day. She was so good about it. She cried but was so happy to see Peyton. Everybody who came up to meet you that night included: My brother, Bubba-Jamie-Amanda-Jason-Lora-Chris' mom, Dorothy
Welcome to the world, Peyton! The day started out with letting one baby go and ended with bringing one baby in.
I love you, little man! I will post a baby picture when I get on my own computer.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Let's try to recap and see what I've been up to...
1. Trying to focus on school.
2. Spending way to much time on facebook. Did you know that you could have your own farm and have your own apartment on farmtown and yoville?!?! I spend way too much time plowing, harvesting and going to work to work to raise money to buy fake furniture. Hey, if I can't do it in real life at least I can pretend, right? Ok, I know I'm pathetic.
3. It was nice out for a short while. So, we spent alot of time outside tearing up the yards with go carts, 4-wheelers and the sprinkler. If you go to my facebook page you can see some of the video. Oh, and Chris taught Devin how to fly at top speed on his go-cart and ramp the burn pile in the back yard. I had to put a stop to that when I saw Devin flying through the air with all four tires in the air. Mommy=bad guy.
4. Chris' poor uncle passed away. He was only 51 and had a massive heart attack. His whole family flew in from Florida. So, we had house guests for a good while. While it wasn't a whole heartedly happy time, we got to spend alot of time with people that we don't normally get to see. The kids enjoyed getting to go to mimi's (chris' grandma) to play with everyone.
5. We had a local kite festival. Me, Manda and my sister in-law (which is also Manda's sister in-law ha ha ha) took all 8 of the kids. It was awesome. All of the kites filled the sky. I bought Devin a hot air balloon kite and Nuby flew his transformer kite. It was the best windy kite day ever. However, I would be the dipstick to make the kite festival a full contact sport and chip my tooth.
6. Coin and Bo came up to visit twice since I last posted. Bo has seen a puppy shrink. Sorry Coin, I had to throw that in there. Chris watched the kids one day and we went to Lanterman's Mill at Mill Creek Park. It was nice.
7. The childcare center that I ran closed due to building renovations. I was a freaking sobbing wreck packing all that up. But, when the building reopens, we will have a brand new state of the art center. So, it was bittersweet.
8. Peyton has taken to pulling poo out of his diaper and squeezing it while yelling "STICKY!". It's disturbing and I don't like it. And if he keeps doing it I might duct tape his hands to the top of his head to keep them as far away from his butt as possible.
9. We went to a swap meet full of random car stuff and junk. The kids loved it! They all got to pick out bushels of hot wheel cars. Chris bought a pressure washer and weed wacker. I bought something from every single concession stand. I love fair food!
10. I can't think of a tenth thing. So, hopefully you all haven't decided to leave me because of my absenteeism. I do apologize. How about you guys tell me in a recap anything exciting that you've been up to....
Friday, March 27, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
I walk into the office, sign in and have a seat in the waiting room. It is completely cluttered and full of beautiful African art. There are sculptures on the tables and pictures of black women and children on the walls. The floors which are already carpeted have zebra print rugs in random places.
So, I'm sitting in the waiting room looking around and waiting for Dr. Dentist. I finally get called back after waiting for 45 minutes and I was the only patient in the building. This was only the beginning. The nurse leads me back to a little room and puts me in the chair. I tell her about my teeth and she sets me up for x-rays while I'm asking her if this is ok because I'm 6 weeks pregnant. She assures me that it's fine. They cover my body with a giant metal blanket thing and proceed to take like 20 x-rays of my mouth while stuffing different little plastic things all around in there jabbing my gums, my tongue and making me gag every couple seconds. Fun fun fun.
We finish up the x-rays and now I am just sitting in the little chair in my laid back chair waiting for Dr. Dentist. This is when I have a chance to soak in the decor. The room has not 1, not 2, not even three...but four random lava lamps hanging out in there. And they were all on too. They were also three random digital alarm clocks...all on too. It looked as if they were just making stacks of random junk all over the little room. Stacks of papers lined the counter and boxes filled with more junk were under the counter. No problem, I thought. Everyone does spring cleaning...right? Maybe I caught him in the middle of a remodel?
Then...in walks Dr. Dentist. Not the older African art loving black man that I had envisioned. But, a homely looking little white man who had a hump in his back. He shuffled along wearing slip on shoes that were too big making them slide across the floor as he walked. His pants were a dark brown cordaroy and were covered with white paint spots. The pants were cinched up with a belt as they were also way too big.
So, Mr. Dentist proceeds with his dentistry duties. He gets his little pick thingy and his mirror thingy and starts jabbing and stabbing my gums in the back. Maybe he hoped that by jabbing at them repeatedly it would tenderize my gums to make it easier for them to come through. heh...didn't work. After jabbing, muttering and breathing in my face for what seemed like an eternity, he leaves the room to go check out my x-rays. While he was gone, I pick up the torture instruments only to notice that they are covered with rust! Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhh....somebody get me out of here!
He comes back and tells me that he is scheduling me for surgery to get all four of my wisdom teeth removed and gives me a prescription for Tylenol 3. I ask him if it is safe for me to be put under for surgery and to take the meds. He assures me it's fine. I tell him that I will call back to schedule to surgery after I talk to my midwife.
I go home call my midwife and they tell me not to schedule or take the meds unless my face might explode at any second. So, lo and behold here I am with all four of my wisdom teeth still in there. One is almost all the way through now.
But, for the last three days, they have been killing me. My head has been pounding, my ears hurt and my jaw is throbbing. So, now that I have dental coverage through my work, I am going to see about getting them suckers yanked out.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Ok, so the game is played by adding the word NOT in everything you do. So, here goes.
This past Friday was NOT Jason's birthday. Jason is not Amanda's (http://www.mandasrandonness.blogspot.com)/ husband.
We did NOT all find babysitters so that we could NOT go to Ruby Tuesday's for an adult night out.
I did NOT order the buffalo sandwich while NOT thinking it was the bison sandwich. I was NOT at all surprised when the waitress didn't bring me chicken smothered in buffalo sauce instead of my bison burger.
I did NOT eat that whole buffalo chicken sandwich and then lick the rest of the sauce off the plate.
Now we won't get to the funny parts.....I in no way would ever dream of ordering NOT ONE but TWO long island iced teas. They were NOT so great and refreshing as I sucked the sweetness down. I was NOT informing Chris' brother that his head was big and long way too loudly. I did NOT laugh in an old man's face while coming back from the restroom. And I was NOT scaring people in the restroom while I was in there.
After our dinner, we did NOT come back to my house to play monopoly. I most certainly would NOT get out the boxed wine after two long island iced teas. Amanda did NOT offer to flash a boob just to get some free property from the bank...that would make her a hooker. And, I did NOT try to charge her $500 monopoly dollars for her to show her boob...that would make me her pimp. Her husband did NOT lower his head in shame embarrassed to know us. And Chris was NOT jumping up and down because he thought he might NOT see a boob.
Now, that you all have heard about my NOT-ME Friday, please feel free to join in next Friday. It was hard to even write this without cracking up.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Of course, game night was a huge hit. We played all kinds of fun games until the wee hours of morning. One of the funny moments of the night was when we went running screaming "EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF!!!", as Chris' drunk brother came looking for us all. Then we all behind cars covering our mouths like little children trying to hold in the giggles. I had both hands over my mouth and my legs crossed trying not to simutaneously give away our spot and pee my pants. His brother found Manda and we left her with the drunkard. Sorry Manda, Every man for himself!
The day after game night we all laid on the couch with the kids snuggling and watching cheesey movies all day. That was cozy.
We took all the kids including Lora and her Luca and went to see Hotel Dogs at the movies. The kids really did great. There was only one other family in the theater so the kids were able to kind of move around and sit on the stairs. Little Peyton did the best out of all the kids! He sat so still in his chair eating popcorn for almost the whole movie.
Last night we sat watching you tube videos for a good hour cracking up. If you enjoy browsing silly things on youtube, check out goremy. He has silly videos and songs that he makes up and I was doubled over. Check out the eggs over easy one if you have time. "Eggs ova eeeezaaaay. Cookemright, don't make em greeeeezaaay."
Ok, that's it for now. Oh and kudos to Kristy at the Weaver's Nest on my side roll of blogs. She had a run in with a real live hippo! Can you all believe it?!?!?!?! Lora, if you're out there reading....I am now living through Kristy so that I can get closer to my true beloved hippos!
Friday, February 20, 2009
You all know ~me~ from reading my blog. Now I want to get to know you by asking some questions. Please cut/paste these questions into the comments and answer them truthfully! ~wink~
Q1: Let's say you are driving by yourself in the middle of a long drive. You are in a good mood and you have every album ever made available to listen to. Name 1-3 albums you would choose to listen to.
A1: Bon Jovi, 90's music, 80's music.
Q2: Let's say you have been dating a guy for 1 year and he just broke up with you. What ~sad~ break-up music would you listen to?
A2: Reba McEntire
Q3: Now you are more pissed for him breaking up than sad. What ~angry~ music would you choose?
A3: Beastie Boys
Q4: You are on death row and have been offered a last meal. What would you pick?
A4: Salisbury Steak banquet meal.
Q5: You have a free night to hang out with your friends and you get to pick the night. What would you choose to do? If you would go somewhere to have drinks, what kind of club/bar would you want to go? Would you rather have a girls only night? Or mixed company?
A5: Mixed company board game nights
Q6: You are on your night out with friends and someone else is the designated driver. You have all night and nothing to do in the morning but sleep. What would you choose to drink? What level of drunkenness would you chose to achieve?
A6: Just enough to make me happy. I don't ever want to be hungover again. I am done with that stage of my life...I do not do shots, they make me gag. I like grape smirnoff...and my new drink is the tarantula.
Q7: Your designated driver is now driving everyone home and offers to stop anywhere you want to feed your drunk ass. What would you pick?
A7: McDonald's...double hamburger
Q8: You have a gift certificate for 2 pairs of shoes to a shoe store that carries every brand of shoe in the world and every shoe costs the exact same amount. What casual shoe would you pick? What dress shoe would you pick?
A8: Nike tennis shoes...I don't really wear dress shoes.
Q9: Let's say these things all cost the exact same and you are told to pick ~three~ things. What would you pick?: Pair of shoes. Handbag. Bundle of craft items. Outfit at your favorite store. Day at the spa. MP3 player. Dinner & drinks at your favorite restaurant. Concert tickets to your favorite band. 3 month gym membership. Hotel room at the city's fanciest hotel. Makeup/beauty bundle. Haircut and color. A kitchen appliance like an espresso machine, something frivolous.
A9: Day at the spa...haircut and color...espresso/cappuccino maching
Q10: What do you do for a living? Is it your dream job? If not, what is your dream job?
A10: Childcare Program Manager
Q11: Do you have a college degree? If yes, what is it in? If no, are you planning to go back?
A11: I currently have a Child Development Associate credential and am enrolled in an online college for Elementary Ed.
Q12: If you could start your education over, would you change anything? If so, what?
A12: I would do my homework.
Q13: What are your summer hobbies. (Things you actually do, not things you would like to do but rarely do them. For instance, many people say "hiking" although they can't remember the last time they went.)
A13: Right now...spending time with the family. But before that I wanted to be a rock climber. Loved it!
Q14: What are your winter hobbies?
A14: I love skiing and sled riding
Q15: Are you ~happy~ with your life? If not, what would make you happy?
A15: Absolutely! Love my three monsters and Chris
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
These are just a few of the pictures from this past week. We had a birthday party at the local skating rink where Chris and Devin had fun learning how to skate. We also got to play some laser tag, which I think I should be banned from ever playing again. I have what you can call a wee bit of a competitive side. Wee bit being a severe understatement. The party was fun and from there we headed home to get the boys ready for a sleepover at my aunt's.
This was the first sleepover for all three of them and my first liberating night in years without any kids at home. Coin is in town this week, so we invited the troops over for a game night. We had a rockin' time playing pictionary man, blurt, rock band and the guys played some beer pong. I discovered my true calling in life.....I AM one of the beastie boys. It was a fantabulous night. I haven't laughed that freakin' hard in a long time. That could be directly related to the giant amounts of raspberry stolli and lemonade....or maybe not.
On Monday, Coin made lasagna and salad and our friend Lora came over with her son. We played around with the camera for a good while and that accounts for the lovely pictures. They so graciously did my make up for the photo op. Do you love the blue eye shadow and the dark dark lipstick?
We will be having another game night on Friday at Lora's house this time. So, we will see what this weekend brings....
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
9. My kids are so used to me saying, "If you don't stop, I will suck out your soul" that they say it to each other.
8. All three of my kids got 'to up from the flo up' while in utero before I knew they were in there.
7. I never bought bike helmets for my kids...bike helmets are for wussies. However, Devin does have a helmet for his dirt bike and go-cart.
6. Not to long ago, I fell asleep in the chair and woke up to Peyton standing next to me with taco bell re-fried beans and lip gloss all in his hair. He was oh so proud. It was promptly followed with an, "Oh P, I am so going to suck out your soul." Then we headed to the bath.
5. While driving home from work and talking to my friend Lora on the phone I hear Devin scream. (Dev was about 1 1/2) I look back to realize that someone must have unbuckled his car seat and when I turned the whole thing tipped over. Without skipping a beat, I reach back and flip him back upright which he thought was the greatest thing ever. Lora asks are you going to pull over to buckle it in? Nah...almost home I tell her.
4. Nuby still sneaks his binky...he looks so darn cute with it though.
3. I often call Devin 'Funky butt fingers' because he is always scratching his bum. He is THEE itchiest kid I have ever come across.
2. Everytime Devin or Nuby say something all sarcastically to me and trot away...I mutter 'Little Asshole' under my breath.
1. Due to my lack of cooking abilities and a bit of laziness...my kids live on carryout unless Chris cooks.
And now on to my awards...I apologize that I haven't put them up sooner. I was so excited when I got them ....I received three new awards since I have last blogged and I would like to give each person their own post to show my gratitude. So, stay tuned for my awards from Amy, Courtney and Amanda. Thanks gals!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Season five of Lost is on and I am super SUPER excited! I didn't think I was going to be able to watch it because we have satellite and we don't have ABC, but my neighbor brought over his trusty rabbit ears so that I wouldn't miss a thing. So, finally after watching the first four seasons since the end of November, we get to see season five and maybe get some questions answered about this stinking island.
Also, Amy from http://www.keepingupwiththeschultzfamily.blogspot.com has given me the helping hand award.
I will be posting it up later this week after I am done with my final projects (online college).
Feel free to keep posting on the logic of Chris too. This could be a fun series!
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
We were discussing the welfare of our youngest son, Peyton, who is only 1. I was saying how I never wanted him to go to another daycare center because he loves his teachers and these first years are so crucial to his development. Chris argued that it doesn't matter where he goes becaue he wouldn't remember any of it and he would be fine. Despite all of my counter arguments about early childhood education and social emotional issues, Chris would not budge.
Not even 15 minutes later, I was discussing puppy care on the phone with Coin-O and Chris chimes in with his opinion of how it is VITAL to a puppy that it be nursed for the proper amount of time for the optimal development of the puppy.
WTF, Chris? You care about some random puppy more than Peyton? All I could do was crack up at him.
This one was great. Chris likes to blurt out random thoughts in his head at really random times. Back when Coin was visiting, we were sitting in the living room watching Lost after the kids had all gone to bed. Out of the blue, Chris states that he would like to donate his sperm for money. Conversation was as follows:
Jennie-"That's a stupid idea"
Chris-"Hell no it's not! I could make a killing."
Jennie-"Maybe, but what happens when you donate your sperm and then some random lady has your baby and abuses or neglects it?
Chris-"That's not my baby"
Jennie-"Yes it is!"
Chris-"No, no it's not"
Jennie-"How do you figure? It's your sperm, is it not?"
Chris-"Yeah, it's my sperm. But it's not my baby. I wouldn't sleep with her."
Jennie- "It's still your sperm, dumbass. Have you ever heard of DNA?"
Chris-"No, there was no penetration. It doesn't count! It's not my baby."
Coin-"He has a point, you know."
That one is still an ongoing argument. Sometimes I just don't understand what goes through his mind. Anybody else have a "logical thinker" at home?
Monday, January 19, 2009
When we first moved into this house, the first thing we did was re-do the bathroom: new drywall, floor, cabinetry, sinks, toilet, counter, trim, ceiling, paint, tub and shower. The whole nine yards. Well, about a week ago, a pipe burst in the bathroom but was inside the wall. Chris loves to take things apart so he immediately said that he was just going to tear down the whole wall because he wasn't satisfied with the work he had done the first time. I instantly told him/ordered him to leave the bathroom alone. I didn't care if I had to brush my teeth in the toilet.
Thursday, me and the boys got home from work to find Chris in the bathroom. Or what used to be the bathroom. Now, it's just a room with a toilet and a tub. He ripped out every inch of drywall and banged up every tile from the floor. The bathroom cabinets are sitting in my foyer. Good place for them, right. The kids think it's great. Three cabinets....three boys.
Everybody knows those people that hate calm. You know who I'm talking about. The ones who create all the drama if there isn't any to fuel. I've come to my own conclusion that Chris is very similar to that. If he sees something that is not broken, he must break it in order to fix it. He must destroy all things that are beautiful. Perhaps, I shall break his fingers. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha.
But anyways, we got some laminate wood floor for the bathroom to replace the tile and hopefully it will match well with the real hard wood flooring that we have in the rest of the house. The color is just about the same. Now we just have to get someone out here to sand and re-finish the rest of our floors.
Saturday, me and the boys spent five hours at the Skate Zone with our neighbor friends and their three kids and my sister in law and her two kids. We all had a blast. We played some laser tag and I was the MVP of course. We played two games....me and all the kids slaughtered the other team the first round only to find out it was because they had on faulty equipment. So, skate zone let us play again. The team me and the kids were playing against were a little on the trashy side though. When me or the kids would shoot them they would yell out random swear words. Come on now, while my mouth if FAR from being mother goose's, I do not yell random or any swear words at strange children.
Yesterday, Chris worked in the bathroom while me and my little cousin Shae rearranged my living room and tried to play catch up on the massive amounts of laundry. Then after everyone was falling asleep, I remembered I had homework. Blech...so I was up till one trying to finish it. I did.
Today, I mopped my floors with water and 409 because I didn't realize we were out of pine sol. And, I'm getting ready to put the boys down for a nap. I need to find my stinking phone. I lost it two days ago and can not find it anywhere.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
My friend Coin-O, www.taleoftwocoins.blogspot.com has suffered great losses in the past few months and today I'm just not sure how she carries herself so delicately and strongly at the same time.
Let me start at the beginning...
A few years back, I was the assistant childcare manager and my "buddy" (that's her nickname I call her) Lora was the Program manager. While Lora was out on maternity leave I was interviewing for a new infant lead teacher. This was vital to both myself and Lora as our babies were 6 weeks apart and this would be our babies teacher. I interviewed a whole bunch of people but fell in love with a Jennifer Coin who was new to the area. That Ms. Coin though was a stickler to get. With most people, you offer them the job, they consider it and then either accept it or go on their own way. Not with Ms. Coin. I must have talked to her 10 million times on the phone answering all kinds of questions from our early childhood education philosophy to NAEYC Accreditation. After all that she went through a second interview process with Lora, who also loved her. And finally, after much deliberation on her part because we weren't the only center who was trying to snag her, she chose to come and be our lead teacher.
After a month or so, she came into mine and Lora's office we shared crying. She just didn't know if her heart was in early childhood anymore. While she did the most excellent job, she was just feeling the long term stresses that the job can bring. She also said that she was lonely because she was new to the area and didn't make new friends easily. Lora and I reassured her that we didn't want her to leave and that maybe if she stayed she could move up in the ranks to an administrative position. We also welcomed her into our circle, which really consisted of me and Lora ha ha.
Me and Lora are very close from sharing an office and from my former social phobic years when she allowed me to be her buttcheek and tag along behind her EVERYWHERE she went. Coin completed our trio. Lora and I are complete opposites. Lora is extememly efficient and well detailed but doesn't like chaos. I am not so efficient and hate to be detailed but I love chaos. Coin falls somewhere in between that and bridges the gap.
Lora ended up leaving us...sniffle sniffle...for a better job opportunity which meant I moved into her position and Coin moved partially up into my old position. I say partially because she was still in a classroom half days. I got to know alot about her. We shared crazy stories about her husband Shawn and my Chris and crew. Coin was always the worrier and I used to laugh at her for it. She was afraid to go places or drive without Shawn and always consulted him for everything. It never ceased to make me chuckle. When her and Shawn started trying for a baby, it was a bit rocky for them, so Lora and I tried to be as helpful as we could. We might have gone into their room to position them if they would have let us. ha ha ha. Ok, maybe not that far but you get the point.
Shawn started experiencing some chest pains that Coin was concerned about. I remember the first time she told me and said that she thought it was a tumor. I think that might have been the first time I didn't chuckle at her.
Coin then made the decision to leave for another job opportunity that involved a WAY lower stress level in order to better focus on trying to have a baby and so that her and Shawn wouldn't both be so stressed out. Shawn was under a tid bit (understatement) of stress at his job as a football coach. She was so worried about what I would think when she left. But, leaving me wasn't going to shake the trio apart.
We all still talked all the time and then....Coin got pregnant! We were all so excited...Lora even went so far as to sneak her in pregnancy books while Coin was working.
Then after I had been home for a week while my boys passed around Hand, Foot and Mouth disease and returned to work finally....
I was up in the business offices getting ready for a meeting when the operator yelled out..."Hey Coin just called here and said it's an emergency she needs you to call her back right now." I headed down stairs to get my phone and call her back. I call her and she answered the phone calmly..."Hey, I'm at the er. Do you think you could come over with me?" I immediately thought she had lost the baby. I asked her what was going on and she told me that Shawn had collapsed at work and something about his trying to get his heart started. I told her I would be right over. I ran the three flights up to tell my boss I was so sorry but I HAD to leave to be with Coin.
I flew over to the hospital on two wheels (it's only like 3 minutes from my work) and called Coin on the way to let her know I was en route. Her voice was still even. She said that she was in a little waiting room and to come find her. I call Lora who had already received a call from Teresa and was getting herself and her son ready to leave the house. My panic is starting to set in....I get to the er where there isn't a parking spot. I found one in the back, hastily parked my car and took off running through the parking lot. I ran in and found our other friend Teresa who had driven her there from work. She was telling me that Coin was still in the back but I was on a mission. I NEEDED to find that room with Coin in it. I grabbed a nurse out of the triage room and told her who I was looking for and she immediately knew who I was talking about. She led me and Teresa to a tiny room and opened the door. Inside, Coin was sitting on a little couch with numerous coaches all standing and sitting in the room with her.
As I made my way over to sit on the arm of the couch next to her, the doctor came in to give her the news that her husband had not made it. I know that this was the hardest thing that my friend has and probably will ever have to encounter in her life...or so I pray. I know this because for the five minutes that followed the doctor coming in was the only time since then that I have seen her break. I know that my heart break was NOTHING compared to hers, but that might have been the hardest thing that I have ever had to do. What do you say in a time like that? All I could do was wrap my arms around her violent shaking body and cry with her. I couldn't say it's going to be ok or I'm here. Nobody wants to here that hallmark crap. So, I just sat and cried along with her and all of the football coaches. After about five minutes, she proceeded with talking. Not the happy chat, but a cold shaky tone.
After going through the hospital Lora, Teresa and I went to her house with her to stay until her family could get in from out of state. She was the one offering us food and drinks and apologizing for her house being a mess (it was far from messy). We managed to feed her a few bites of yogurt and a plum. Through the next couple days, she plunged on trying to keep herself going and healthy for the baby.
She got through the calling hours and funeral and went for her first OBGYN appointment. Her parents, Shawn's mom, Lora and I went with her only to see that a heartbeat could not be found. They reassured that it might be too early and sent her with a script for her dr. in Michigan when she returned.
She went back to have her second disastrous blow. She had a miscarriage. Lora and I were at an event together waiting the phonecall. When it had not come yet, I decided to call. Coin answered the phone crying. The second time she has broken.
She has had her up times and down times since then. But, during her rollercoaster ride. During this time when the strongest of men would have been brought to their knees. I have watched her in awe. Even when stripped of all she has ever known, stripped of her husband, her child, her home, her life. She stands naked before everybody...transparent...feelings and emotions worn for all to see. And yet she does all of this with her chin out and head held high. Held together, full of pride thinking of the lessons Shawn has taught her, and striving to find herself in a world that has dealt her a hand that some might find cold.
Today, she called me. Shawn's autopsy came in. I listened as she read it and silently sobbed until the snot was running into my mouth. Once again, I sat in awe. While she read, she cried. But, I could almost picture her reading.....her head drooping....but only momentarily. Collecting herself together, and pushing forward towards the great unknown.
If any of you have ever read her post or Angie Smith's post http://www.blogger.com/www.audreycaroline.blogspot.com , I'm sure you can relate to the feeling of awe. Here I am with my Chris and my crazy three boys. There is no way I can ever truly relate to the feelings that she feels, I can only imagine. But, I am in awe. I know that Coin is destined to greater things. I don't know what, but I know there is something. God has given her such grace and she has accepted it so gracefully. She is already reaching out to others who have suffered losses. (She must always be helping somebody...ALWAYS).
So, Coin...here's to you. You aren't just one of my best friends. You are an inspiration for life. For Grace.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Yesterday, I noticed that the trampoline was drooping really from all of the snow piled on it. I had told Chris to go and shovel it all off but he was too busy plowing the drive way with the tractor 5 blazillion times. (He loves to plow. I think it gives him a good outlet for his destructive side.) Needless to say, the snow was still there this morning.
Once again, I told Chris he needed to shovel the trampoline off and off he went to wal-mart. So, I searched for some boots to keep the snow from filling my shoes while I crossed Alaska to get to the trampoline. The only boots I could find were Chris' steel toed size 13 (AKA size yacht) work boots, so I plopped my size 5 1/2-6 feet into the yachts, tucked in my jeans and laced the bad boys up.
Have you EVER tried to balance yourself on a snow/ice covered trampoline with a snow shovel and yachts on your feet? Let me tell ya, it's a task and I'm sure if any of my neighbors were watching they would have been highly amused.
After about 20 minutes I had finally cleared almost all of the snow off the trampoline, and I did it without falling. This is where my inner genius kicks in. Our trampoline has the safety net siding on it, so it only has one little doorway hole to throw all of the snow out of. During my snow clearing, I had failed to throw the snow all on one side outside of the hole so I had snow piled almost as high as the trampoline all outside of the hole when I was done. WTF is wrong with me? I wore the yachts so that I wouldn't get snow in my boots! Now I would have to worry about snow in my hat.
I am not only a genius...I am an olympic pole jumper! So, I used my genius mind to come up with a plan. I stuffed my shovel in the big old pile of snow, pushed off and flew me and my yachts over the big pile of snow.
SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! That is the sound that two giganitic yachts make when they pound themselves into a foot of snow. I did it! I made it without falling or hurting myself or breaking anything!
I trudged back in my previous footprints back to the house to find Chris standing at the sliding door watching me cracking up.
So, this is why today.....I am a genius olympic champion!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
We did have a few funny happenings this week though.
Thursday was Chris' birthday. We usually go all out for presents in this house, but every year Chris gets harder and harder to buy for. He is about the pickiest person in the whole entire world. So, this year he decided he wanted a cold air intake for his truck and he was going to go and buy it. So, on Thursday we were just going to go out to eat with our friends. I realized while I was at work that I had not even gotten him a card and I didn't have any money on me to stop and get one. But my wondrous job allows my creativity to spill....so i cut out two big sheets of cardboard and found some old wallpaper samples in a book. With these I made the most beautiful birthday card full of coloring pages of me and the boys. Chris actually really did appreciate my hard work but after the fun was over that night and the boys were in bed, he looked all sad at me and said, "I'm kind of surprised you didn't get me a cake". I said that was silly because he hates cake and never eats it. And then he looked down and muttered something about not getting to blow any birthday candles out. Now, I felt like an all out piece of crap. He says, "It's no big deal. Don't worry about it, babe. I love my card. It's just a day anyhow, right?" I am an official piece of crap. Not just any piece of crap. I am the piece of crap with nuts and corn that sneaks up on you and ravages your intestines.
Friday- Devin's teacher calls me at 3:00 to inform me that while Devin was going number two, he somehow managed to number one all over his pants, shirt and underwear. Me, being the parent who always looks ahead (sarcasm), did not have extra clothes for him at school. So, I had to scoop up Nuby and Peyton to run over to Devin's school and save him from sitting in the bathroom naked in his blanket. I take this opportunity to run home, grab Dev some clean clothes, and head off to get Chris cake and presents to try to redeem myself and hopefully salvage a little bit of birthday surprise.
At home, I leave the kids in the car and run in to grab clothes. I come back out and toss them to Devin in the back seat and tell him to hurry up and get em on. We're on a mission. I fiddle with something for a minute and glance back to check on Dev's progress. There he is, sitting spread eagle staring at his little wang with a curious look on his face.
Me-"Dev, WHAT are you doing? Get your clothes on!"
Dev- Throwing hands out in exasperation and shaking his head- "Mom, it's just like... just like, you know my pee pee's getting old."
Me- "Why is your pee pee getting old?"
Dev- Now fully enraged, getting louder and still staring down his wang- "It's just not new anymore! It's just old"
Me- "How do you know what an old pee pee looks like?"
Dev- Starts cracking up and hides his face in the door "Mom, that's silly nasty. Don't talk about my privates. I need to get dressed."
So, Devin got dressed and we headed off to wal-mart where the boys picked out a cupcake cake. It was neon pink, green and yellow and was shaped like a butterfly. Good pick, boys.
Then we went and found the wii game he has been asking for, it's the Indiana Jones lego game. After that, I gave the boys each two dollars and we ran over to the dollar tree so they could go and "buy daddy there own gift". We went in and Devin was so proud bee boppin' around holding his money stating loudly that this was a girl store and we needed to leave to find some tools.
Nuby ran over and picked up a doggy rope toy yelling "Dis fo my daddy". I had to tell him that was a doggy toy and daddy's not a dog (all the time he he he). I told them to keep looking and Devin settled on a flashlight while Nuby picked a tape measure. This is really funny because they each picked out the things that they always break of daddy's. So, daddy so graciously agreed that he would share his new tools if they agreed not to touch the ones he has already.
Anyways, we managed to get home and have everything wrapped and candled by the time he got home. He was surprised. So, I think I am safe for another year.