Saturday, December 13, 2008

Cleaning after the war

EXPLICIT WARNING: Not for the light stomach individuals.

Phew...yesterday was a rough day that I was ill prepared for. Never NEVER EVER in my life have I experienced such raw stankin horror.

Ok, let me start at the beginning. So, settle in and get a napkin in case you need to dry heave.

Peyton has a horrific cough that started after a 5 day stay Thanksgiving trip to my mom's house. It's not just a regular cough. He coughs until he gags and dry heaves. His little face turns beat red as he is trying to catch his breath. The doctor said it was probably just due to being in a smoking environment (my mom's). It is getting better now that we have a cool mist humidifier in his room at night. Night time is when most of the "attacks" occur.

So, Thursday I had a meeting in Columbus, which is where my mom lives. So, we took off before the butt crack of dawn for Columbus. Two and a half hours into the trip Peyton starts coughing until he throws up all over himself. Lovely. There is no exit in sight and I am not pulling over for fear of a speeding car hitting us as we are parked. I hand Devin a towel and like the good big brother he is, he goes to town cleaning the puke off of Peyton while Nuby is holding his nose yelling, "EW, Pey Pey stinks". Needless to say the car was smelly gross the whole 3 hour ride home that night too.

Before leaving for the night, we went out to eat with my mom and stepdad. Devin was an all out little shit head. Usually when with my mom he is an angel, but during one of my trips taking Peyton and Nuby to the restroom, Devin took it upon himself to throw his fork, slam his little fists on the table and blatantly refuse to obey anything. My stepdad took/carried him outside to recompose himself, where Devin decided to just scream at the top of his lungs. Grandpa smacked him in the mouth and apparently this was what he needed to regain control. They came back inside and Devin finished his meal with red pathetic puffy eyes.

We got on the road a little after 7:00 and Devin quickly zonked out. Him and Peyton slept the rest of the way home while Nuby chattered non-stop about motorcyles and dogs.

When we got home, Chris had all the bedtime supplies ready and we put the three boys in their beds.

This is where all hell breaks loose. Nuby likes to wander around in the middle of the night silently doing his own thing. I wake up to find him sitting in my bed in between me and Chris looking at pictures and talking to them. I fall back asleep to wake up to Peyton coughing and Nuby calling, "Daddy, Pey Pey's coughin, He wants you." Chris and I both get out of bed to handle the situation. We get them back to sleep.

We go back to sleep and I wake up to hear Devin shrieking. I find him standing in the hallway. I have to yell at him to get a response to why he is crying. "I pukeded". I send him into the bathroom to wait for me while I investigate. His stomach must have woken him up and he leaned over his top bunk and puked onto the floor. We have hard wood floors, so of course it splattered everywhere. On his way down the ladder he must have thrown up a second time and this is when I believe he started shrieking, because he probably did not know what the heck his little body was doing.

I get him and his room cleaned up and put him back to bed. 6:00 rolls around and I hear the splatter sound again. Clean again and put him in bed with me. Get up at 7:45 to call off work and get up with Peyton. Devin gets up and heads straight to the bathroom to throw up again.

I made him a little bed on the couch and wait to call my friend Lora was is far more experienced in the realm of throwing up than I am. Bad idea, I am jinxed. Everything she warns me of comes true. As she is warning me that diahrrea may accompany the puking, Devin asks me for new underwear. When I inquire to the whereabouts of his underwear, he says that he had an accident. I head up to the bathroom to find a toilet full of projectile diahrrea and his underwear must have taken the brunt of the force. Gagging, I clean it up the floor surrounding the toilet, seal the underwear in a bag and throw them away.

Devin is back on the couch in clean clothes and I put a bucket next to him with a towel under it. He poops/explodes two more times, thankfully, all in the toilet. I call Lora back to ask her what the hell I should do. She tells me to make sure he is staying hydrated and not to give him too much water at a time because it will make him throw up. So, I give him a sippy cup of water and tell him to drink slow. I head into the kitchen to clean up after breakfast. The other boys want some string cheese so, I ask Devin if he would like some cheese too (against Lora's advice of NO FOOD). Devin politely declines and leans over to start violently puking up the water. I pull his little body off of the couch to get closer to the bucker. He finished up (never cries once) and tells me the he poopeded, it was an accident and he is sorry. I tell him that he doesn't have to worry, he's sick and sometimes that these things happen when you are sick. He waddles up to the bathroom so I can clean him up.

To be continued...


  1. Your poor little baby. I hope he feels better soon.

  2. Oh no! Hope it passes soon!

  3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  4. Do you really call your child a shit head and let other people smack him? NICE!


Hi! You've reached Jennie. I'm not available right now. So, leave me a message after the tone and I'll be sure to get back with you. 'BEEEEEEEEP"