Edgar update and spider stories

Ok. I went to the doctor on Friday and while it was not confirmed that Edgar is my inner fart, I still don't have an answer. She said that it did not feel like a hernia but she would like me to go and have an ultrasound done to make sure that there isn't any trouble going on in there. She thinks it is possibly weak abdominal muscles and my intestines can be felt through them.

Hmmm....I do believe that would be my inner fart. It would finally make sense of the bubbling feeling that Edgar sometimes has. Oh how ashamed I am. My inner fart sticking outside of my body. And to think of all the innocent people that I made touch my inner fart. Suckers!

Why must every other commercial at night be scary movie trailers? I just looked up at the tv that had fallen silent to see a big zombie guy staring back at me. Scared the inner fart out of me! Just a tidbit of random information about me. I am TERRIFIED of spiders and the dark. When I say TERRIFIED, the word in caps does the actual fear no justice. Let me tell you one of my many many horrific spider/car experiences...

Setting: Driving down a long country road in my S10.

So, I'm flying down the road on my way to work with the radio blaring Dixie Chicks and singing along like I think I'm one of them when I feel something tickle my arm. I look down to see a grand daddy long legs galloping up my arm with a blood thirsty look in all eight of his eyes. I start flailing my arm about the car while I'm screaming. I look back at my arm after I stop flailing and squawking (still flying down the road) and my arm is spider free. My heart is pumping at maybe 400 beats per minute at this point and I try to focus on the radio instead of the galloping spider image that keeps playing over and over in my head......

Got sleepy all of a sudden. It is 1:30 in the morning after all. I will keep you all in suspense for the end of the spider story. Dun dun duuuuuun